Where: Queen Mary's Gardens, Regents Park, London UK
When: May 28, 2009
What I like: The texture, and the general feel of the photo
What I Don't Like: I'd prefer it if I had gotten lower, bringing the light source closer to the roses. On the other hand, I would have then been too low to get the top petals, maybe that wouldn't have worked either...
Where: Dry river bed, Gorge of Inferno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: January 28, 2009
What I Like: The angle, the subject, the spiky bush on the left, and how it's branches and shadows echo the sun's rays, the textures.
What I Don't Like: I'd like to bump up the exposure a touch. But mostly I like it.
"We have to give up our slavish obedience to whatever system of pain avoidance we have devised and realize that we can't escape discomfort simply by running faster and trying harder. The faster we run from our pain, the more our pain overtakes us. When what we depended on to give our life meaning doesn't work any more, what are we going to do?
...Sitting is not about finding a happy, blissful state. [These] states may occur in sitting, when we've really experienced our pain over and over, so that finally there's just letting go. That surrender and opening into something fresh and new is the consequence of experiencing pain, not a consequence of finding a place where we can shut the pain out."
-- Charlotte Joko Beck, Nothing Special: Living Zen
Struggling with pain and the avoidance of the experience of pain today, my mind bouncing off the discomfort manically, in a frantic attempt to avoid feeling how sore and tired I am right now. I'm working to stay present - allowing myself to drift the way my mind wants to results in getting sucked into imaginary fights in my head, gripping and tension in my body, and sudden fits of frustration and crankiness. Staying aware of that process is exhausting though.
Where: Queen Mary's Gardens, Regents Park, London UK
When: April 18, 2009
What I Like: The color!! I get complaints from my husband when I post too much black and white, so I try to balance it out when I can.
What I Don't Like: DOF is too shallow, should have stopped down enough to get the entire tulip in focus.
Another Ani DiFranco lyric title, from her song "Shy". It's hard to grab a section of lyrics from this song, the whole thing is great and the story flows so well, but here's the bit with the post's title in it:
and you'll stop me, won't you
if you've heard this one before
the one where i surprise you
by showing up at your front door
saying 'let's not ask what's next,
or how, or why'
i am leaving in the morning
so let's not be shy
Where: Queen Mary's Gardens, Regents Park, London UK
When: April 18, 2009
What I Like: I love the textures that black and white brings out, it is particularly surprising with something like tulips, where it can be impossible to see anything beyond the bright color.
What I Don't Like: Maybe this could have worked better with a slightly less shallow DOF? Also, a slightly different angle might have emphasized the different heights, which might have worked a little better.
Specifically, my man, with my dog.
Where: Primrose Hill, London, UK
When: April 7, 2009
What I Like: The sky, the silhouettes, the generally dramatic feel
What I Don't Like: I wish I had gotten lower, and gotten more of their legs against the sky.
Where: London Buddhist Center, Bethnal Green, London
When: June 24, 2009
What I Like: That the Buddha in the background is recognizable while still being fuzzy - took a bit of playing with the f-stop (aperture) to get the right DOF (depth of field).
What I Don't Like: I'd kind of like it to have more interesting colors. And that the highlights on the back wall didn't have to be so blown, but it was necessary to maintain any detail in the Buddha.
Meditated first thing yesterday and today. I'm giving myself permission to only do 20 minutes, which is helping with my flagging discipline. I'm trying to re-establish the "first thing every day" habit, but the 35 minute mark was just too daunting.
Yesterday was great - very positive and productive. Piper and I had a really nice walk after my meditation, then I did almost 2 hours of yoga, had a delicious and healthy lunch, and then started cleaning the apartment - one room has now been washed, floors and walls. Three more and the hallways to go.
Then we hit the climbing gym, and I had what was easily the best night of bouldering I've had since last summer. It was fun because our friends Magda and David came along (it was David's first time), and on top of that I was feeling really strong and therefore nearly fearless, and was having a ton of fun throwing myself at problems and shocking myself with how many of them I was able to finish with energy to spare. Which was good, because it meant I had the strength to climb down rather than jump down. Jumping down is normally fine, but I don't like doing it because I've hurt my knee that way.
Today will likely be slower - it's rainy, and I'm sore. I'm not sure if it's from the yoga or the climbing or both. I have a really bad habit of pushing way too hard with the yoga, particularly if I'm feeling good. This is also true of the climbing. And running. And just life generally, and what happens is my body goes along with it for a while, occasionally clearing it's throat in a worried way, perhaps throwing in a faint murmur of protest, which I brush off in an irritated, impatient fashion. And then finally, when it can't take any more, it says "NO. I'm out. You sit your ass DOWN, woman." And I get sick or injured. Or depressed, or all of the above, and am forced to sit on the couch for a week or three. So anyway, I'm trying to pay more attention to the early warning signs, and maybe learn how to stop using my body like a third world donkey, and instead treat it like a valuable and incredibly impermanent resource. We'll see how that goes.
Where: Dry river bed, Gorge of Inferno (How awesome is that name??), Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: January 28, 2009
What I Like: The sun, the angle, the texture and the shadows on the rocks.
What I Don't Like: I wish the mountains could have had more detail, but I'm not sure how to get that while still having the sky and sun exposed the way I wanted. Also, I think the composition could use some work, but I'm not sure how. It's close, but something about it is bothering me.
Where: Queen Mary's Gardens, Regents Park, London UK
When: May 28, 2009
What I Like: The bokeh, the subject, the composition, and the black and white conversion
What I Don't Like: I kind of wish it were an even higher contrast shot. I found I was losing too much detail when I brought up the blacks.
Where: Regents Park, London UK
When: May 28, 2009
What I Like: The subject, this tree has such interesting foliage, the subdued colors, the angle, and the bokeh (bits of the photo that are out of focus)
What I Don't Like: I feel like I could have done something slightly different with the composition, it doesn't feel quite right to me. It was the closest of the ones I took that day of this subject, but I think more focus and I could have nailed it.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
What I Like: The subject, it's such a graceful little statue, the colors, the angle
What I Don't Like: I wish I had backed up just slightly and gotten the entire base. At the time, I was more interested in the expression and movement in the torso and hands, so I didn't care.
The title is a memory and a description of the majority of my meditations in Spain. It was such a necessary interlude, and I think contributed to the manic energy that got me through the last few weeks, but the things I experienced, worked on and learned there now feel as insubstantial and remote as a dream. I'm struggling to find the motivation and discipline to sit every day, and to be present enough to hear the London version of dogs barking. It is so much easier to slip into sticky thoughts about the future, and sleep walk through the last month here.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
What I Like: The colors, how close the photo is to how I remember the morning, the fact that the furthest (and most photogenic) mountain isn't centered.
What I Don't Like: It's a combination of three photos, which is fine because it was the only way to get the full spread of the rays, but I can't post the full length version here. Also, the noise is frustrating in the larger version. I'd like to try printing it large, but I suspect the noise will make it unprintable.
This morning on the Heath, it felt like my eyes were seeing more colors than I am normally able to detect. It was overwhelming on a broad scale, trying to process the absurd, HDR-esque range shouting through the clouds, trees and fields, but even individual blades of grass and drops of dew were displaying a staggering spectrum of color. I didn't have my camera, which I'm actually happy about. I don't think anything I could have taken would have approximated the experience, and anyway, it would have distracted me from all the glory.
Where: Primrose Hill, London, UK
When: April 7, 2009
What I Like: The silhouette's, the crazy clouds and light, the fact that processing involved little more than a crop and bringing up the blacks slightly to emphasize the shapes. And also that the shot was premeditated. I knew what I wanted to try to get before I got there.
What I Don't Like: Wish I had more of the hill, at a better angle. There's a touch too much sky and too little ground. Would like to do this again but closer to the runner.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
What I Like: I really like the composition on this one. And the DOF and bokeh. I even like the subject.
What I Don't Like: It could be a bit brighter. Yellows are so hard to expose properly, I find them even more difficult that whites - they seem to blow out so quickly. But still, I could have eased the exposure up a touch.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
What I Like: The colors, the light, the angle, the DOF
What I Don't Like: Hm, actually not much. Again, I'm getting a little bored of this type of subject, but I think the angle, light etc. makes it more interesting.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
What I Like: The colors, the shapes, the angle of the shot, the bokeh.
What I Don't Like: The subject, which I'm getting kind of bored of, and the composition is a little meh.
Where: Hampstead Heath, London, UK
When: April 14, 2009
What I Like: The timing of the crow and the man's posture, and the general moodiness
What I Don't Like: A little too dark, I wish the dog hadn't gotten to the woods yet, needed a fairly heavy crop so the quality isn't great.
Second day of moving today - almost everything got packed yesterday, although I realized last night that the paintings were simply placed into (ill-fitting, not properly shaped) boxes, without being bubble wrapped, so I'm going to ask them to repack them, wrapping them each individually.
Today they'll attempt to get the couch out the window, pack up the remaining stuff and get it all into the truck. There's only two of them, so the couch is going to be at best entertaining, and at worst disastrous.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
I love the colors, patterns and DOF on this one. If I took it again, I might play with more angles to see if there is one that emphasizes the pattern even more. But overall, I'm happy with this one.
Move day today! It's raining! I'm all excited about the fact that they are taking our stuff away, it makes the actual move feel closer. Which is tragic, because all this means is that we're living in an empty apartment for another month, and then will be moving to an empty apartment on the other side. But I don't care, I'm still excited.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
I know there are quite a few of this subject, but I like the variations. In this one, I like the movement, textures and colors, although I think "Knotted" might be my favorite version.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
T-1 day until the movers come. I've moved a bunch of pictures so I can keep posting after tomorrow, when they will take the computer with lightroom etc. away and put it on a boat. Hopefully I'll have enough to get us through the next month or so.
Where: Kew Gardens, London, UK
When: June 15, 2009
Wish I had taken this from a slightly higher angle. Oh well. I like the black and white, because it really brings out the dark tips, and the highlights on the edges.
I've gotten downright chatty on this blog! It's fun. I'm thinking about, in addition to the "where" and "when" info, of adding a "what I like" and "what I don't like" section for each photo. I'm thinking that taking the time to do a thoughtful critique of each photo will give me specific things to work on next time out, and will hopefully result in improvement.
Where: Kew Gardens, London, UK
When: June 15, 2009
some people wear their smile like a disguise
those people who smile a lot
watch the eyes
i know cause i'm like that a lot
you think everything's okay
and it is
till it's not
--Ani Difranco, "Outta Me, Onto You"
One of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite artists. I had forgotten about it until I looked at this photo and "watch the eyes" popped into my head.
I once asked Dave why people at work often acted as though they were scared of me, since I don't think of myself as a particularly strong personality, and certainly not intimidating or assertive at all. He described me in pretty much the same way; "Honey, you're really a nice person. Until you're not." Weird how the view from the inside is so dramatically different.
Where: Chatsworth, Derbyshire, UK
When: June 13, 2009
I think the first one is more interesting. Not sure why I'm posting this one, actually. It's 1am, is that a legitimate excuse?
Where: Chatsworth, Derbyshire, UK
When: June 13, 2009
Going back in time a bit, have a few pictures from before Spain, but I got too excited about Spain to post them.
Back in the UK, jet lagged and incapable of sleep. However, I am kicking some post-processing butt. There's always an upside.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 27, 2009
Less stormy looking this far away. That's because they aren't actually stormy at all.
Tired but feeling good - had an awesome weekend climbing up in New Hampshire. I'm covered in bug bites and scrapes, and my body hurts everywhere, which is how you know it was good! Got to see my family on top of that, and it was a wonderful visit. I even played some piano, and discovered that the re-learning process might not be as difficult as I thought. It'll still be hard, but it doesn't feel impossibly hard.
Dropping off the lease on the apartment today, then I'm back to England tonight!
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 1, 2009
This is easily the best landscape shot I've ever taken. Got to keep practicing, so I can expand my repertoire. I feel like I've finally got the "one thing in focus, the rest all blurry in interesting ways" type of shot down to a science, so I'm starting to get bored and want to move on to something else.
NYC should be a challenging subject, particularly since city stuff is definitely not my area, so I'm excited.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
We got the apartment!! I couldn't be more excited, and can't WAIT to move! I was also accepted into the Swedish Institute for Massage Therapy, so hooray for a brand new direction. Can't wait until the end of August!
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 27, 2009
The gleeful manic energy is finally wearing off, and jet lag and reality are starting to hit. While I've found an apartment I desperately want, I am waiting to hear about the approval, which really ought to be a slam dunk. In theory, I should hear by 11am today.
I'm tired, cranky, pessimistic and my body hurts. So I'm taking a nap.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
Apartment Quest 2009 may have resulted in massive levels of success... I find out this afternoon, and this seemed an appropriate illustration of the state of my stomach.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
Too bad! Because I probably have another 5 from this trip I want to post.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 30, 2009
T -1 hour until apartment quest! I think I need a nap. Managed to fall asleep at an appropriate hour last night, but woke up at 4:30am. Stupid jet lag.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
Apartment Quest 2009 officially begins tomorrow at noon. Acquired preliminary quest items 1 and 2 (a phone and Dave's letter of employment) today, so I'm feeling all warmed up and ready to quest like a hero of old. Also feeling twitchy and nervous about finding something we'll be happy to live in for at least 2 years (because I desperately don't want to have to move again) that's in our price range. And I'm nervous that I've forgotten some paperwork that is somehow essential, or that Dave and I won't qualify for an apartment we want, which is silly because we're looking well within our price range and have great credit etc. etc. but but but what if what if blah dee blah blah.
Got to remember to keep meditating!
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
Made it safely to NYC, bounced around all day grinning from ear to ear. I love love love the West Village, it turns out! And I had coffee - real, brewed, delicious iced coffee, coffee SO GOOD I actually regretted adding milk. I forgot such a wondrous thing existed.
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: July 2, 2009
Where: Solterreno, Vall de Laguar, Spain
When: June 29, 2009
I'm back, and I have so many things I want to write about, and no time to do it in. I've got to get moving and pack and get ready for NYC Apartment Quest 2009. But I'll be able to post on the road, so there'll be pictures up over the next week. In the mean time, I'll post a few to make up for the absence last week.
Hope everyone's feeling shiny! I soaked up so much sun last week I feel like I've become my own light source, radiance spilling out in all directions. Glorious.
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