Light Up The Dark

Where: West Village, NYC
When: September 14, 2009

Not sure how today's going to go, trying to find something bright inside all the anxiety. Lay awake from 3:30 to 5:30 last night, panicking about the fact that my throat hurt and I felt feverish, convinced that I was going to relapse, and I'd have to postpone school for another semester, thus spending the fall and first part of the winter not only without exercise, but without anything to do period. Alarm goes off at 6, just after I finally fall asleep (why does that ALWAYS happen??), I got out the door late with the dog, feeling defensively aggressive, which apparently fed down the leash as she had not one but two pissy altercations, leaving me feeling so stressed and upset that I literally had to sit down on a bench on the walk back, every muscle weak and about as supportive as water.

Swedish class today, and the idea of anyone touching me is making my skin crawl. I finally have my doctor's appointment in the afternoon though, so I am hoping that will give me some comfort, and reassurance.