Friday, May 29, 2009

Bubblerific


Where: Camden, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Dripping Down


Where: Camden Stables Market, Camden, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Charge of the Light Brigade

Charge of the Light Brigade
Where: Camden Stables Market, Camden, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Clouds of the Queen


Where: Regents Park, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hide and Seek


Where: Queen Anne's Garden, Regents Park, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Extension


Where: Regents Park, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Frosted

Frosted
Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

More Pink

More Pink
Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Monday, May 25, 2009

Rising Up


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

Another Version of Another Sun


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 24, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

Away for a Week!

I'm going rock climbing! In the south of France! For a week! With my husband and one of my best friends! Woo!

So no pictures for a week. Try to contain your dismay. I'm not sure what I'll come back with, but I'm hoping one or two awesome climbing shots (if Dave and Ralph will oblige with some badass moves), maybe a landscape or three, plus we're checking out Avignon on our day off! Medieval city foo! Rockin'.

Anyway, have a great week everyone!

Gwen

If I Never See Another Sun


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 24, 2009

Title from Tracy Chapman's "Another Sun".

This Seems Improbable


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Impermanence

Impermanence
Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

"If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. When a flower dies, you don't suffer much, because you understand that flowers are impermanent. But you cannot accept the impermanence of your beloved one, and you suffer deeply when she passes away...

...Aware of impermanence, you become positive, loving and wise. Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing would be possible. With impermanence, every door is open for change. Impermanence is an instrument for our liberation."

Thich Nhat Hanh

Morning

Morning
Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Squatter


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 20, 2009

They are just so PINK!


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Burning Bright


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Swan Step


Where: Queen Mary's Gardens, Regents Park, London UK
When: May 10, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Take Your Freedom Where You Find It


Where: Camden Stables Market, Camden, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Open as Usual

Open as Usual
Where: Camden Lock Market, Camden, London, UK
When: May 10, 2009

Taking a break from the Vajrasana pictures, at least for today. After the epic night I had last night (horrible stomach bug of some description), I'm not feeling flowers. I'm feeling early morning Camden, with the occasional leftover stumbling reveler, piles of puke, and bleary sales people setting up their stalls.

Friday, May 8, 2009

It's Got Dangly Bits


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

It's In the Details


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Solidarity


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 20, 2009

Dewdrops and Daffodils


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

In Your Face


Where: My backyard, London, UK
When: April 13, 2009

Coming Up


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Bhumisparsha Mudra


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 21, 2009

"This mudra, formed with all five fingers of the right hand extended to touch the ground, symbolizes the Buddha's enlightenment under the bodhi tree, when he summoned the earth goddess, Sthavara, to bear witness to his attainment of enlightenment."

(From www.religionfacts.com)

Wind and Willows


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 23, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sit. Stay. Shut up.


Where: Hampstead Heath, London, UK
When: March 15, 2009

(Piper is much better at demonstrating this concept than I am.)

A month or two ago, I had one of those days where I really, really didn't want to meditate. I also, as it happened, didn't want to meditate the day before, or the day before that, or pretty much any day that week. So I didn't. And then depression started to seep in and squish around, so I finally decided I had to do something.

When I'm in this state I need the motivation provided by social pressure, so I went to the London Buddhist Center's (LBC) lunchtime meditation. At least there, surrounded by others, my aversion to embarrassment will not allow me to stand up after five minutes, mutter something rude, and stalk out. So I sat, with a teacher to guide me, in the company of my fellow meditators. And holy crap, was it awful. My brain had what can only be described as a massive screaming-kicking-flinging-itself-about temper tantrum.

From one breath to the next, I was tossed from fantasy to nightmare to chattering to screaming, and sometimes drowning in all of them at once. Time after time I'd realize where I'd gotten to, pull out of the maelstrom, re-straighten my back and sternly insist, yet again, "I'm in charge here, and damnit we're counting breaths. Get over it."

Having carved out a (very) small space in which to breathe, I would get to "two" and have consciousness and balance yanked out from under me, my brain viciously retaliating by causing me to fall asleep and topple alarmingly to one side or the other of the mat before flinging me back into the howling chaos of my mind.

This went on and on, for eons. I finally, in the last 5 minutes of the never-ending hour, had a moment of peace, a series of 4 complete breaths where I had silence, and space. Then the teacher begins to wrap up the meditation, reminding us to come out slowly and in our own time prepare to open our eyes, and all I can think is JUST SHUT UP AND HIT THE BLOODY BOWL ALREADY! And finally he does, and I still can't leave, I have to move slowly and mindfully and not disturb others and wait for the teacher to rise and indicate it's time to put away the pillows. And then I have to stack them carefully instead of flinging them across the room with a screech of pure frustration.

Jumping forward a month, I had decided to go on another retreat, this time with the LBC, at Vajrasana. While my meditations had retreated from the total drama of that day, it hadn't been feeling like progress either, so I decided that I needed to go on another retreat, in the hopes that it would help me refocus my energies, and push past the current block. And as always happens with the Through the Looking Glass world of meditation, driving determinedly towards my goal left me further from it than when I started.

So, instead of remembering what a quiet mind feels like, I resigned myself to dealing with my fear of social interactions and of not fitting in with a group of new people, and to come to terms with the way that I always feel out of place and uncomfortable around pretty much everybody. And during free periods in the afternoon, I'd escape all that horrible awkward hard work to run around the fields surrounding Vajrasana.

As with my meditations, running has been, recently, an exercise in stodgy discipline. And it was no different in the lovely Suffolk countryside - I felt keenly with every step the difference in exertion between a running stride and a walking stride, and the runs were filled with effort and scowling determination. So on Wednesday, I was resigned to more of the same. But five minutes in, something shifted through my body, and suddenly I was having one of those runs where all the effort behind the motion lifts away, and my whole being becomes pure perpetual motion, where walking is not only not an option, it is a completely inconceivable method of locomotion.

Afterward, as I came down and remembered how to think again, the thing that stayed with me was the realization that I had forgotten the value of practice. I had forgotten that the reason we suffer in miserable and uninspiring meditations, slog through another mediocre run, groan in a stiff and unyielding yoga practice, or struggle with a weak and fear filled climbing session, is that eventually something will click. And it will stop feeling like work and start feeling like flying, and that moment is worth every slogging step.

Or at least, it had better be.

Abstract Details


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Decorative Daffodils


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Radiating


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 20, 2009

Vajrasana's Buddha


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 22, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Seeming of a Surface


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 21, 2009

Little Suns


Where: Vajrasana Retreat Center, Suffolk, UK
When: April 20, 2009

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New York City, United States

About This Blog

This is my first blog attempt. It hasn't been kept up over the last year, for some reason being pregnant really ate into my creativity, and I picked up the camera very rarely. I am thinking about starting it up again, but am not sure what direction to take it in.

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